Monday, January 4, 2021


I typically try to do my end of year reflection post closer to the first, but this year I got busy and didn't find the time. I've taken the time to be quiet and just reflect on this past year. I believe with all trials, no matter how big or small, come lessons. Most of the time we are to wrapped up in the issue to take time to learn the lesson(s) we are meant to learn. I am really no different, I've been rather down as of late, so much going on in the world and in my heart and head its been difficult to sort it all out. I've seen and heard things this year that disturb me deeply. I have had to pull away from people and things that stole my peace and joy, I need to focus on learning what I am here to learn. I look around at the turmoil in our country, and my heart breaks...I ask myself why are people so mean, so hateful...truthfully, I have no answers, other than they are human and humans want to be right at all cost....I sit here on my little slice of earth and feel alone so much of the time...not 'lonely' necessarily but alone in my way of thinking, my values, my beliefs. I see all the hate and the tension and I just can't grasp the mindset of such people...I have come to one conclusion as to why some are the way they are.... that is that fact that they get so caught up in the way things in their mind were suppost to be that they can't accept the reality of the way things are....Change is hard for many, but it is also inevitable...without change we cannot grow as people. Change takes us from our comfort zone and puts us in unfamiliar territory and that is hard....The Buddha once said that it is not change that is difficult but the resistance to it.(paraphrased) I couldn't agree more! I am not one to like change but I know from my own experience the more I fight it the more unhappy and frustrated I become, so it's best to feel the feelings, deal with the emotions and move on....See, change is going to happen regardless if you want it to, so you might as well just accept it and move on with life...learn the lessons to help you grow as a person. 

This year I've learned many things about myself and other people and lessons have been horribly hard at times. 

I've learned no matter who you are or what you do there is always going to be someone not like or agree with you.

I've learned people are not always who they appear to be and if your instincts tell you to beware, then beware!

I've learned that just because I believe something with all my heart doesn't mean others have to. All you can do is educate, what they take from the education is up to them.

I've learned that even in the midst of the most horrific storm there is always good to be found.

I've learned its important to our mental and emotional health to be true to who we are regardless of the back lash...those meant to be in your life will accept you and love you. Let go of those that are not accepting.

I've learned kindness will get you further than hatefulness

I've learned if  your politics and religion define your friendships, you need to find new friends!

I've learned I deserve friends that value me and my time. That love me unconditionally and those that can't really aren't my people.

I've learned it's ok to reinvent who you are how many ever times you wish to do so. You are the only one you have to live with daily, so love yourself, accept yourself(flaws and all), and be kind to yourself.

I've learned it's ok to hurt and cry even after years have passed. Love doesn't die just because the person did or the relationship ended. True love will endure forever.

But mostly I've learned that its ok to distance yourself from those that exude negativity at every turn. Negative energy is very harmful to those exposed. I had to let go of friendships that were negative and toxic, I am off facebook due the toxic nature of so many people. I am a person that absorbs other peoples energy no matter how hard I try not to, I just I had to get away. I have to take time to unwind, relax, meditate and just let go and recharge. I am keenly aware of the situation in our country, but I am also keenly aware I am the only one that can choose my attitude towards the situation. Being

ugly, negative, spewing hate and toxcicity everywhere I go, serves no good purpose other than to make me look ignorant...If I am supportive, positive and encouraging of others my impact is far greater.

Life is a boomerang, what you put out, you get choose....put out negative you will be a miserable human being, with all manner of problems and issues. Put out positivity and you will fare much better in life with positive things happening for you. I am not not saying being positive negates you from experiencing bad or traumatic things, I am just saying day to day living will be much easier to cope with during those stressful time. Positive people attract positive things and negative people attract negative things. I am also not saying to not see a situation for what it is, truth is not always positive, but being truthful will bring about positive change in the long term. Decide this year what you want to do with they rest of you life and then set goals and make it happen! Stay positive even in this time of uncertainty and great things will happen for you. Hang in there, stay safe, stay positive and spread kindness!

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