When someone dies in the time following is as If time has stopped...it’s like sitting and being frozen...like you can’t move forward and you can’t go backward...you just exist...
Emotions seem to visit in waves...sometimes crashing in like waves of the ocean on the rocks spraying our sadness and despair on everything around it...and at other times, like a soft gentle ripple barely being noticed....
As the seconds turn into minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days we look out at the world and see people busy with life...bustling to and fro, we stand, wondering if we even exist anymore...do they hear my cries? Do they sense my pain? Do they even see me? Or maybe I’ve become invisible....or maybe....they simply don’t care...
Sitting quietly pondering life, lost in my ocean of thoughts staring blankly at the wall in front of me I question the Who, what, when, why, where and hows of life and death...
It seems only minutes that I’ve sat in this place but a glance to the window shows me it’s been hours...dawn is now dusk....have I worked through anything?
Maybe...
I realize the world does go on...rain clouds will give way to the sun....the leaves will fall, ice and snow will melt and soon there will be new foliage..the green of summer will again turn to autumn with the brilliance of colors and the leaves from the trees will fall blanketing the ground...once more snow will fall...the cycle of life and death continues...
I, we, will get through this I whisper to myself...yes, the world goes on...this rock we inhabit will keep spinning...seconds will turn to minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days...so on and so forth...
Birth and death will happen continuously...Our job... I believe ...is to make the most of of our time in between our life’s spring(birth) and winter(death) we need to touch lives in a way that matters...make this earth a better place to be...smile, be kind...leave everyone better than you found them...forgive, love, laugh, be grateful...act silly...cry when you need to, it’s ok to be sad...when it passes....be better!
Make a difference to even just one person. Don’t judge, don’t be mean...no one is above anyone else...we are each on a journey...we will never all agree...and at death none of this stuff will even matter...we all become equals!
I think the message of life is quite simple really....Leave the people you meet better than you found them...regardless of your differences! Embrace, accept, love...
Tuesday, December 17, 2019
Wednesday, October 23, 2019
Where to begin...
It's been so long so since I've blogged here. So much has changed yet so much has remained the same.Iam hoping to get back to blogging it is so therapeutic for me. I miss it. Being on facebook i've just let this slide.
So, after a long break from "farming" ...last spring we added back in some chickens and some goats...it's been good for me. There are days I still struggle with the death of my best friend and I can find my solace in my critters and my garden. My life has had more "noise" than I like the past few months with being on facebook...all the drama, negativity and censorship has really taken its toll on me. I am contemplating leaving there and focusing more on my blogging. Blogging is a way for me to deal with my feelings. Time will tell....
So this year we had a pretty good garden. I focused a lot on herbs. I am learning a lot about different herbs and their uses for medicine as well as other things. I did pretty good growing a decent herb garden this year and i'm already looking forward to expanding next year. This past season we did container gardening and it worked well for us. Much easier to care for with a decent yield. That too will be expanded next season.
We had goat babies born early spring, 2 does and a buck. We re-homed the buckling and our buck and right now only have 3 does with one expecting. She was bred before we re-homed the boys. I am hoping for doelings from her. Goats bring me a great deal of joy. Their antics are forever making me smile and giggle. It does the soul good.
I've been making candles and a variety of different things of that nature just to give me something constructive to do, i've enjoyed these things for years but have just just recently thought about making a business out of it....seems there's a lot of competition in the market and of course drama as with anything. I prefer to just be inspired and do my own thing, no need to copy cat others but that seems the norm these days. I wonder what happened to creativity and originality in people? Seems it's been lost.
I am still studying different religions and finding my own truth. Spending so many years in a religion that never allowed for different views this has been a hard, but eye opening journey for me. Seems everything I ever thought I knew has been tossed to the wind. All other religions, I was taught were evil and of the "devil" I am finding is not true. Most religions are very peaceful and mindful of other beliefs. I am finding Christianity to be the most troublesome of all religions. I really hate to put that in writing but I am finding the judgment and ignorance in that religion mind blowing. I know many many good Christians but coming from the life I came from I also know many many bad ones. I'm not sure where I will "land" in all of this but I am very drawn to Buddhism. I just love the peace of it all. The focus on being in nature and mindfulness is something I've always been drawn to. I love the focus of working on oneself and not trying to convert others to a different way of thinking.....I have since a childhood been in love with the outdoors and all things nature. In my "old church" I was likened to a witch because of my love of nature....Crazy, crazy stuff...I am now free to embrace my love and reverence of nature without feeling like I am sinful or destined to hell. I'm not sure i'll fully be able to get over the hurt I felt over all that....soon I will share that story as I feel ready to shed light on abusive Christianity.
I'll sign off for now, but promise I'll be back soon...I miss blogging so much....
Be Mindful,
Me💖
So, after a long break from "farming" ...last spring we added back in some chickens and some goats...it's been good for me. There are days I still struggle with the death of my best friend and I can find my solace in my critters and my garden. My life has had more "noise" than I like the past few months with being on facebook...all the drama, negativity and censorship has really taken its toll on me. I am contemplating leaving there and focusing more on my blogging. Blogging is a way for me to deal with my feelings. Time will tell....
So this year we had a pretty good garden. I focused a lot on herbs. I am learning a lot about different herbs and their uses for medicine as well as other things. I did pretty good growing a decent herb garden this year and i'm already looking forward to expanding next year. This past season we did container gardening and it worked well for us. Much easier to care for with a decent yield. That too will be expanded next season.
We had goat babies born early spring, 2 does and a buck. We re-homed the buckling and our buck and right now only have 3 does with one expecting. She was bred before we re-homed the boys. I am hoping for doelings from her. Goats bring me a great deal of joy. Their antics are forever making me smile and giggle. It does the soul good.
I've been making candles and a variety of different things of that nature just to give me something constructive to do, i've enjoyed these things for years but have just just recently thought about making a business out of it....seems there's a lot of competition in the market and of course drama as with anything. I prefer to just be inspired and do my own thing, no need to copy cat others but that seems the norm these days. I wonder what happened to creativity and originality in people? Seems it's been lost.
I am still studying different religions and finding my own truth. Spending so many years in a religion that never allowed for different views this has been a hard, but eye opening journey for me. Seems everything I ever thought I knew has been tossed to the wind. All other religions, I was taught were evil and of the "devil" I am finding is not true. Most religions are very peaceful and mindful of other beliefs. I am finding Christianity to be the most troublesome of all religions. I really hate to put that in writing but I am finding the judgment and ignorance in that religion mind blowing. I know many many good Christians but coming from the life I came from I also know many many bad ones. I'm not sure where I will "land" in all of this but I am very drawn to Buddhism. I just love the peace of it all. The focus on being in nature and mindfulness is something I've always been drawn to. I love the focus of working on oneself and not trying to convert others to a different way of thinking.....I have since a childhood been in love with the outdoors and all things nature. In my "old church" I was likened to a witch because of my love of nature....Crazy, crazy stuff...I am now free to embrace my love and reverence of nature without feeling like I am sinful or destined to hell. I'm not sure i'll fully be able to get over the hurt I felt over all that....soon I will share that story as I feel ready to shed light on abusive Christianity.
I'll sign off for now, but promise I'll be back soon...I miss blogging so much....
Be Mindful,
Me💖
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