Religious Trauma

WHAT IS RELIGIOUS TRAUMA?

By: CAMHS professionals 

Religious trauma refers to the psychological and emotional harm that an individual experiences as a result of their involvement in a religious or spiritual group or community.

This harm can occur due to a variety of factors, including abuse or manipulation by religious leaders, rigid or dogmatic beliefs, and social isolation or ostracism.

Religious trauma can have a significant impact on an individual's mental health and well-being, leading to symptoms such as anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and even suicidal thoughts or behaviour.

It can also affect a person's ability to trust others, form healthy relationships, and engage in spiritual or religious practices.

Examples of religious trauma may include experiencing emotional or physical abuse by religious authorities, feeling pressure to conform to strict religious rules or beliefs, being shunned or ostracised by a religious community, or having one's personal beliefs or experiences dismissed or invalidated by others.

It is important to note that not all religious experiences are traumatic, and that many people find comfort, support, and meaning in their religious or spiritual practices.

However, it is also important to recognise and address instances of religious trauma in order to support those who have been harmed and prevent further harm from occurring.

Treatment for religious trauma may involve therapy or counseling to address the emotional and psychological effects of the trauma, as well as support from a community or social network that values inclusivity, respect, and autonomy.

Church Abuse

 

I’ve written several post about my Christian experience. I want to be very clear that I understand not all church experiences are like mine. I understand that if you haven’t experienced what I or millions of others have it’s difficult for you to understand. I am not here to bash your beliefs in God. I am here to educate about this issue.

I write about my personal experience so others that may find their way here know they are not alone. I also write so that those that read here can learn about this very real and detrimental issue. It’s everywhere. Most do not recognize it. Many, many people are sitting under pastors and attending churches that are causing “Religious Trauma”. I’m going to share a bit of information on signs and symptoms of what “Religious Trauma Syndome” entails and how it impacts those suffering. It will also include things about “Stockholm Syndrome”. This is very dear to my heart and I do not want see anyone else hurt by people claiming to live God and do his work! 

What about Stockholm Syndrome?

The Stockholm Syndrome is a strategy of survival in a very, very bad situation.

Perceived threat to one’s physical or psychological survival and the belief that the abuser would carry out the threat …leaving the situation would result in being shunned, “marked to be avoided,” or “counted as dead,” it is almost impossible to escape the situation because the cost is too high.

In order for the Stockholm Syndrome to take effect the following conditions are necessary: One person threatens to kill another and is perceived to be capable of doing so. The victim cannot escape, and her life depends on her captor. The victim is isolated from support, or in the case of hostages, the knowledge that other people are trying to help them. The captor shows kindness as well as violence increasing with the victim's sense of being totally dependent on the captor.

 In my opinion, Christianity is the world's largest case of Stockholm Syndrome. All the pieces are there.

*Christians tell people that God will kill them, or rather, send them to hell, which is even worse. If the person believes in God, then he is certainly perceived as capable of doing this. After all, he's God.

*They are also told that they cannot escape God's judgement, and that everything in life depends on God. The success of this tactic is illustrated by the number of Christians who claim that without God, life has no meaning and is not worth living.

*There is no one to support them except for God. The only other being who might have the power to do so, the Devil, is presented as being powerless, and even worse than God.

At the same time, Christians are quick to point out how good God really is. He only threatens us because we deserve it.

The parallels become especially sick and twisted when we consider the analogy of the Church as God's bride. If that's the case, God has all the earmarks of an abusive husband, and it's no wonder that the cries of his followers sound so much like the cries of a battered wife.

What Is Religious Trauma?

Religious trauma is any trauma that takes place in a religious setting, often through psychological or emotional distress or emotionally manipulative practices.

Religion can play an essential role in a person’s life, and many may find incredible fulfillment in exploring their religious beliefs and practices. Many may also utilize these spiritual beliefs and communities for personal healing.

However, others experience negative religious experiences that can create religious trauma.

What Causes Religious Trauma?

Religious trauma occurs when a religious official or religious community uses a person’s spiritual beliefs against them to impact a person’s actions, decision-making, and well-being.

Causes of religious trauma include:

Using guilt and shame to control behavior

This often occurs in organizations that have strict moral codes and rules.

Strict gender roles

This is especially harmful when it is used to justify discrimination, shaming, or power imbalances between different genders.

Fear-based teaching-Hell

This often occurs through threats of eternal punishment, impending apocalypse, or some kind of spiritual damnation.

Excommunication and shunning

This occurs when “disobedient” members of a faith are isolated from their religious community. Their family and friends may be instructed by religious leaders to cut off contact with them.

Repression of critical thinking

This occurs when religious leaders discourage discussions of questions or critiques.

Physical, emotional, sexual, or financial abuse

This is often caused by religious leaders taking advantage of their positions of authority.

Is Religious Trauma a Form of PTSD?

Religious trauma can be intimately connected and share many similarities with the development of post-traumatic stress disorder and complex PTSD, or c-PTSD.

This kind of trauma is characterized by prolonged, continuous exposure to traumatic events. Religious trauma syndrome, or RTS, often manifests over a long period, with religious groups slowly affecting a person’s mental health, decision-making, critical thinking, and more.

Signs of Religious Trauma

Religious trauma can affect people differently, and each person will have their own unique experiences with religious trauma.

Individuals and their friends and families should all be aware of potential signs of religious trauma. This can empower each person to identify toxic religious communities and best address RTS with a mental health professional.

What Are Signs of Religious Trauma?

There are various signs that an individual may be experiencing religious trauma or continuing to cope with its prolonged effects. Some symptoms of religious trauma include:

Compulsive perfectionism

Faith crisis or becoming disillusioned with spirituality

Self-hatred, low self-esteem, or compromised self-worth

Constant feelings of shame or guilt

Hypervigilance

A distinct lack of boundaries between personal life and religious communities

Identity confusion, especially among women, LGBTQIA+, and religious minority members

Manifestation of other mental illnesses, such as anxiety disorder, depression, or eating disorders

 What Does an Unhealthy Church Look Like?

Unhealthy or toxic churches or religious institutions can come in many forms, but there are some signs of an unhealthy church that can help an individual begin the healing process.

An unhealthy church may show the following signs:

Focuses on punishment, damnation(hell), guilt, shame, and other negative beliefs about oneself

Has strict, authoritarian, and absolute rules

Causes an individual to feel belittled, or as if their personal worth is less than that of the culture of the church.

Exhibits signs of religious indoctrination-start in childhood many times.

Compromises a person’s sense of personal identity or causes an individual to feel shameful about their identity, especially among members of the LGBTQ+ community.

Cultivates a culture of punishment and external forgiveness rather than personal development or personal spiritual exploration.

Focuses on personal or financial sacrifice to maintain good standing with God or the church.

Gaslighting or manipulating a person’s religious beliefs and sense of self in order to control their behavior

Using religion, scripture, or doctrine to protect otherwise abusive individuals or to facilitate otherwise abusive relationships

Feeling forced to stay in actively harmful situations or relationships based on the approval of spiritual leaders

When a person has been denied the opportunity to make personal decisions due to the pressures of religious figures

Experiencing religious trauma often has long-lasting effects on a person’s mental health, self-worth, beliefs, perspectives, and more. Many of these beliefs can be detrimental and even compromise a person’s emotional, mental, and physical health.

What Are the Long-Term Effects of Religious Trauma?

Religious trauma has lasting effects on an individual, necessitating the need for professional treatment and clinicians to address these effects.

Some of the long-term effects of trauma include:

Pervasive feelings of shame, guilt, and low self-worth

Panic attacks

Flashbacks to specific traumatic experiences or instances of spiritual abuse

Compromised personal relationships, or inability to nurture personal relationships

Difficulty trusting others

Pervasive feelings of hopelessness, especially in combination with guilt, as well as blaming oneself for all negative aspects of life

Depression

Confusion or compromised decision-making skills, especially when outside of the faith community

Dissociation or compromised sense of personal identity

Fear of eternal damnation

Anxiety

Anger

Feelings of isolation, both in regards to a person’s faith as well as isolation from others, even outside of any given religious group

Suicidal ideation

How Does Religious Trauma Affect the Brain?

Some of the ways in which religious trauma affects the brain include:

Emotional, sexual, and social delays, especially when engaging in an unhealthy religious environment from a young age or throughout childhood

Compromised decision-making skills and critical thinking skills, especially outside the context of a religious institution

Low self-esteem or perspective of self-worth

Panic attacks, anxiety, and depression

Trauma of any kind can profoundly affect the brain, affecting a person’s beliefs, perspectives, attitudes, mental health, and much more. Religious trauma and its connection to post-traumatic stress disorder and c-PTSD can have equally as profound effects.

Religious trauma can also inform the development of other mental illnesses and disorders. This includes anything from anxiety disorders and depression to post-traumatic stress disorder, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, social disorders, and even substance use disorder to cope.

Again I want to make clear, I do not believe all churches are toxic. I do believe everyone should earnestly take a look at their situation and examine the practices and doctrines they are being taught. There are very subtle things that can be missed. I think parents need to be engaged in what their children are being taught by others and take a hard look at what they are teaching their own children in the way of eternal damnation(hell).

More later…

THL

The End

You ever think you know someone and find out they are not at all what you thought? That’s a tough one isn’t it!?

Visiting a “friends” Facebook page I saw something that floored me…something childish and in my opinion stupid! I probably shouldn’t have been shocked like I was because I’ve said a million times, you never really know someone…even after years of talking you just never know. People are good at being fake…unfortunately I’m real and tell it how it is and I guess I expect the same, but my expectations and the reality are very different…

Sometimes I just feel very alone…like I’m surrounded by people from another dimension…LOL…there’s just so much I can’t understand these days…lord knows I try..I read, I listen and I try, but in the end I’m just alone…

My hubby gets it, my kids get it..but my extended family…they don’t get it…I have few “friends” and that list is getting smaller…they don’t get it…it’s hard…

Maybe it’s meant to be this way…I’ve always been an independent kinda gal, never fit the status quo, never fit in, always viewed the world through a different lens, don’t follow the crowd just because it’s the popular thing to do…I’ve always been a bit of a loner, thinker, quiet, reserved, observant, don’t speak unless spoken to, lover of deep conversation kinda woman…it’s hard in our loud shallow world…people like me aren’t appreciated, questions aren’t welcome and facts are hated..lol..

We learn to just stay quiet for the most part, unless we are passionate about something then we speak up…usually met by lots of opposition and explanations why we’re wrong…sigh

The shallowness I see in our society these days is astounding…critical thinking skills are all but lost…facts are not important these days(to most)…memes and reels on social media have become news sources…hate & lies are the new fashion statement!

No one likes questions that challenge their beliefs…those that challenge are labeled difficult, argumentative, mean, evil, uneducated, etc…it’s kinda funny because the truth is they don’t have answers, real answers…they just repeat what’s been told to them…and because of that, they have no solid answers and blame the challenger for causing problems.

It’s a real struggle…I know I’m not alone, I just live where I’m surrounded by people different than me…they have a right to live and believe as they see fit…but man! It’s soooooo hard. I feel alone…not lonely necessarily, but I would love to have a friend that could have deep, meaningful conversations about the really important things! A person that cares as much about the state of humanity as I do, that cares about the earth, and is spiritual and not religious, a person I can count on no matter what..a person not offended by my not believing in the god if Christianity…I believe in a higher power, but certainly not the god of Christianity. A person who understands we, as a society are treading on thin ice in a very bad place…our very way of life is at stake! A person that in their heart understands freedom…not just freedom for certain belief systems, but freedom for all to live life and make choices as they deem necessary in their personal lives…is that asking to much? Am I being unreasonable, unrealistic? I don’t think so. 

I’m tired…

Today marks the end of  some things in my life I’ve needed to let go of for a while…the end of a chapter, the end of trying to fit in, the end of pretending to be ok, the end of remaining friends with people I simply cannot relate too, the end of feeling I don’t have a voice…

Starting today, it’s the end…

THL

The winds of change

 The landscape is changing here on the homestead, trees are dropping leaves, flowers are dying back, the garden

has finally quit and temperatures are getting cooler.

As I stare off in the distance I think about how the landscapes of our society is changing. Some good, some bad and some stressful.

We are in a state of discord in our country and it’s quite concerning. I have never seen it like this. It’s worrisome to say the least. We find ourselves staying home more and more and when we do socialize we prefer to stay with likeminded people that we know and trust.

It is coming into a time of rest here in the homestead but I fear a time of societal unrest is coming soon. I truly hope I’m wrong…I’m not sure how we allowed ourselves to get to this place…I have speculation but won’t share here, at least yet. It’s saddens me to see families, long term friendships, neighbors all bickering or no longer speaking over political divide. 

I clearly see where the fault lies, and that is within each of us as an individual. Most cling so tightly to their beliefs  that cannot see what those  beliefs are doing to our country. They cling to their lies, their hatred, their prejudices, their wrongly placed loyalty and will not budge. They will fight to the end…for what? Ever ask yourself that? For want…

What does all this matter at the end of the day? Will the side you choose really give 2 shits about you? Do they even know you exist? The answer is No! So why are we allowing people that don’t even know we exist to shred the fabric of our society? Why? Why are we allowing them to tear apart family’s and friendships? 

For what? What are you gaining? What do you think you’re gaining? 

You should be asking what you are losing! 

Change is inevitable..we need change…there are things going on that are just wrong! Constitutionally, morally and spiritually. You can choose to resist the change and do irreparable damage to yourself, your relationships and your family or you can embrace change and grow as a human being. 

We must remember nothing stays the same, everything and everyone is in a constant state of change…it’s just how it is! Change is never painful it’s the resistance to change that we as humans struggle with. 

I’m ready for change. We need to continue to evolve as a society and as humans. I’m tired of the status quo and the constant judgement of other people. I’m tired of the anger coming from one side or the other, I’m tired of the lies that are only serving to make things worse.

We all must look in the mirror and ask ourselves what part we play in all of this…are you guilty of spreading hate, lies, misinformation? Or are you trying to unite people, find commonality and embrace change for the better?

I know where I am! I want better, I want freedom for all not just ones like me…. I want acceptance of all, not just ones like me. I want to feel free to live my life as I see fit without government interference…I want to be able to make choices best for my life and not have the government tell me what’s best for me! I want peace!

The winds of change are blowing in…unfortunately I am so afraid of what else those winds are stirring up…prepare now!…time is running out!

Until next time..

THL

So much peace

 

The past few days I have felt wonderful…there’s such peace in coming to terms with situations, people and things…finally reaching the understanding who you are, what you believe and what you stand for…being able to share that openly…there’s such freedom in that! It’s not easy because we live in a society where everyone is the same, breaking free from that is hard! Very hard! Speaking your truth takes courage. But it is so freeing!

I know I will face backlash from people, I have for years when I have managed to disagree..I have learned to just agree with them and call it a day…most people are not open to hearing other perspectives once they make up their minds, just how most humans are built I suppose. They would rather cling to their preconceived ideas than admit they might be wrong! I get it…don’t argue…it’s much more peaceful to just agree with them and move on along. 

I regret I did not find myself earlier in life…I spent the best years of my life living a lie…deep down inside I knew it was all a lie but out of fear I clung to it with dear life, hoping someday it would all make sense…I think at some point I had even convinced myself I believed it all…I was miserable for years…for the past 11 years I have studied, read, researched and studied some more…I am secure in my findings….just in past 2 years have I began to really speak up and speak out…it’s not been easy…but my truth is mine and I have the right to speak it just as much as those who disagree. There are others like me trying to find their way…I want to be a beacon of light in their darkness…I want to be their path out of the wilderness of lies and half truths.

We still live in a free country, and I hope it continues.

I have learned many physical ailments can result from living in a state of constant stress, trying to live a life not meant for you, trying to live a lie, trying to people please and be accepted just to have friends…trying to hide and put on a facade as to not appear weird, sinful or bad! 

Life is hard enough as it is…why some groups of people are hell bent on making it harder for some is beyond my comprehension. If it doesn’t effect you, leave it be…leave them be! You do you! 

Somewhere along the course of humanity it became ok to push your personal beliefs on everyone else…it became ok to shame, belittle, harass, condemn and abuse those not like yourself…it’s truly sickening! 

I don’t guess it ever occurred to people that were not all the same nor were we ever meant to be…there are many belief systems in the world and the odds of just one being right and that one just happens to be in the United States…it’s actually laughable! It’s simply not logical!

I’m am so very grateful to see beyond the status quo…to understand diversity and accept people as they are. 

Admittedly I struggle with certain groups, but I do not abuse nor bully them. I do not demand they believe like me or call them names…they are free to choose how they live their life…I just wish they could allow others the same freedom. The old saying…“mind your own business”! Yeah!, do that!

It’s freeing to reach a point that you are no longer bothered by other people’s opinions…I respect them…and will continue to do so until they begin saying I must follow them. You can respect people and disagee. And funny thing is, if you don’t like their choice, you don’t have to choose it! And that’s ok! Move on, choose how you want to live, vote, what religious belief you want to be part of, where you want to live, who you want to love and let others have the same freedoms! We were never meant to be the same! 

I’m so happy I see beyond all the “in the box” thinking…the truth will set you free! I am free indeed! I am so grateful!

Until next time…

THL

Feeling lighter

 I woke this morning feeling much lighter than I have been. I’m a person that seems to feel things very deeply and it’s hard for me to let things go until I work through it…writing helps me do that… so that’s why I started writing again. 

There’s much turmoil in our world these days and people with varying opinions about it all…I find it difficult to navigate. Having so many personalities in one place on social media is hard…at least for me.

I keep a very small circle, I joke and say my circle is so small it’s just a dot..lol…I tend to stay with like minded or mostly like minded individuals…I read, study and listen to other perspectives but when one begins to shove it down my throat I walk away…I huge on facts, truth and keeping it real. So many people today are swayed by delusions and lies. Have no use for that in my life. 

I cleaned house on my Facebook page..I established a personal boundary about what I’m willing to see everyday. I understand people can post whatever they want to post and I’m ok with that, but when it becomes personal or just a way to aggravate I’m not ok with that. And equally I’m allowed to choose not to see things that disturb my peace! And honestly I just simply don’t want to see your bullshit to just be mean…lol…just as someone is free to unfriend me if they don’t want to see mine…the street goes both ways!

Today is a brighter day, and I’m feeling much lighter than previous weeks…I’m ok with others not understanding where I’ve been, what I’m about or how I feel! The important people in my life get it…Those that matter will still be around and those that don’t stick around, don’t matter! 

I will always stand for the broken, the downtrodden, the outcast and hurt…I am of them…life has never been easy for me nor them…and most people  are hell bent on continuing to make it hard…their karma is coming! 

I am a good person but not a nice person…I am kind until the situation warrants otherwise…I don’t live in a fantasy world with make believe characters…I live in the real world where are real issues…it’s hard living in a world where people want to suppress others rights based on their outdated beliefs. But I digress…

Today is a good day! It’s October and my favorite month! Halloween is my favorite holiday and I look forward to celebrating it this entire month with those that are into all things hallloween! Witchy decor, apples, pumpkins, scarecrows, sweaters, hay rides, cauldrons, bonfires, gatherings and all manner of comfort food! 

Enjoy this October!

Until next time…

THL