Saying goodbye

Finished planting all my seeds this morning. Some of earlier plants are starting to germinate already! I am feeling so excited about springtime! The temps today are gorgeous and I’ve spent a bit of time in the garden cleaning up the raised beds. While working, my thoughts wandered to how we all sometimes want something really bad and yet it never seems to happen. You may have wanted that thing for years…then one day it all makes sense why it didn’t happen. It could even be a friendship that was always a bit rocky but you kept trying to make it work. Then one day something happens and you understand it’s time to move on. 

You even realize it’s not painful like you thought it would be. You saw the toxicity all along but chose to ignore it hoping you were wrong. It’s like a switch flips on and there it is! In your face. You know it’s time to let go. 

It’s not easy letting go of a long time friendship. These people are like fixtures in our life. But they have always been a source of pain and stress. They don’t ever seem to really understand you are who you are. Deep conversations elude them. They never try to understand those things that bother you or that you are passionate about. They would rather sweep hard things under the rug and keep things at a surface level. So you oblige.

But by obliging you aren’t being true to yourself. You are suppressing part of what makes you, you! You don’t feel fulfilled, understood or heard. When hard topics arise they get distant and ignore the issue. Still, you continue the relationship. Until you just can’t. 

I have mixed emotions today about a friendship that ended. I think part of me is relieved and part of me wishes it could’ve been different. 

I had been wanting to end the friendship for awhile, but kept thinking it would get better. But the lies kept coming and misunderstandings. Today this person made the decision to say bye. It was weird because I had literally opened my email to do the same thing. End it! 

The universe knew! My only regret is that I really cared for the person. Not sure why…there was lots of history there that was not good on their part…the writing was on the wall for a very long time. 

I tend to give the benefit of the doubt even when my gut tells me different. But I can say deep down I’m glad it’s done. My feelings had changed in recent weeks toward my friend. I begin to see things more clearly than ever! It was hard, but necessary. While I don’t believe in a god that interacts in our daily lives, I certainly believe in a higher force that sees and knows our intentions. Energy is a powerful thing. This friends energy had been off for years. I chose not see it. Until a few days ago. I regret I tried so many times to explain myself to someone that really didn’t care to understand. They were selfish, I see that now. They have been selfish in their life in so many ways…yet I kept thinking it would be ok. I realized a few days ago it was not ok! 

I have realized, listen to your gut, pay attention to energy, don’t let anyone, ever dismiss your feelings! Always be true to who you are! 

Until next time…

Spring is near!

I woke this morning the house was quiet. Hubby had already left for a job that is quite a distance away, so he got an early start. I enjoy my quiet mornings so much. I fixed bottles for the goat kids, got them fed, let the dogs out, made my coffee and stayed in my thoughts.

So many thoughts this morning. I was so grateful for the quiet this morning. I don’t think those around me understand how much I enjoy my quiet and solitude. A feeling of peace was around me as I made my morning coffee.

I look out the window and I can see the goats. Some are eating the hay, others are quietly laying in the sun and enjoying soaking in the rays and enjoying the warmth! A few of the kids are running and frolicking enjoying the warmth. I wonder if they look forward to spring like some of us do. 

It’s been a long winter here on the homestead. Seems it’s been a lifetime. So many reasons why. My eyes shift to woods behind the goat yard and the trees are barren of their leaves, seems they have been asleep forever. Winter, while necessary for Mother Nature to do her thing is so plain. Everything feels so exposed and cold. It feels sad to me! Everything just looks sad and dead.

Backing up a bit, I was outside yesterday afternoon enjoying the nice weather myself, and decided to do a bit of looking in my flower beds. One was overgrown with weeds that I didn’t get to in the fall. As I was pulling them out I noticed my hyacinth was peeking through the soil. My heart was full! Spring is around the corner! As I made my way back to the house I looked down and saw a little dandelion! Both were next to some snow still left from our storm a few days ago. 

I love when the seasons meet like this. It reminds of what needs to be let go of in order to make room for the fresh and new.

Spring is a time of renewal. A time to start over. A reminder that death and cold must go in order to bring forth new growth. 

Our country is in a time upheaval. A winter if you will. People are sleeping and dormant unable to see what’s happening. It’s hard for those of us that do. The cold bitterness I see around me is scary! It’s unbelievable. I know with time some will wake up. Soon! I hope! 

I cling tightly to the belief that we will experience a spring time in our society very soon. Love, warmth and caring will once again surround us. I quietly imagine the ones that are so hate filled right now, coming from their slumber wondering how they stayed asleep so long. Some will feel bad that they got so caught up in the coldness, others will remain in a slumber, never waking and they will die from the lack of warmth. 

As hard as it is, we all must experience this time of winter. Even those of us that really despise this season. Some winters are harsher and colder than others. Our country is going through a very tough winter right now. I hold onto the idea that soon, spring time will emerge. Bringing with it a renewed sense of hope, growth, change and warmth.

Winter is a time of rest, a reset if you will. Things die back to go into a deep slumber. Leaves turn from green to orange, burgundy, gold and brown eventually falling from the branches. Leaving behind a barren and stripped tree. Growth happens but at a slower pace. Storms will come and halt life temporarily. Snow, ice, sleet will wreck havoc on our landscape. Limbs will fall under the weight of the winter snow and ice, trees will fall… Nothing will escape the brutality of the winter storm….Leaving us wondering if the warmth will ever return. Some winters leave lasting damage for years to come. 

I have to believe….

Eventually the snow and ice melts and warmth returns. New growth and understanding begins to happen and all the color of life begins to emerge. The springs rains come to wash away any signs of winter from the landscape, the birds once quiet, hiding from the winter begin to sing again, the leaves on the trees begin to come forth and line the landscape in beauty. Damage from the winter can still be seen like the fallen branches from the weight of the winter snow and ice, but there is always room for new growth to emerge. Trees sometimes fall under the weight if not anchored well to its base.

Winter time is a reminder for us to stay rooted and grounded and sheltered in the light and warmth, our base. We must continue to grow throughout our winter season. Stay rooted and strong in what’s right! Don’t be swayed by the cold winter winds we are experiencing! Stay the course. Even when the icy chill comes sweeping through, stay in the warm light! The warmth will return just as winter turns to spring and spring to summer. Surround yourself by others holding onto the light.

Times are hard right now. Many of us are feeling gripped by the hands of old man winter! But his grip is getting weaker by the day! A waking up is happening! Continue to wake up, wipe the sleep from your eyes, look around and you’ll see the damage from storm, but you’ll also see new things emerging. There must be winter before spring! Join me in holding fast to warmth I know is still here, right now it’s just being over ridden by the icy, cold, ugly grip of old many winter…but spring is near! Believe with me!

Until next time…

Love, light & warmth 

Seeds started!

Started some seeds yesterday. I realized there was a few things I was missing so had to do a quick order. They should arrive this next week. I bought these little seed starters off Amazon. There are 12 cells per unit. I have 180 cells planted. There are 5 rows of planters but I couldn’t fit the 5th row in the picture, but if you look closely you’ll see it. Lots of goodies planted here! So excited for spring! Hoping all germinate!

It’s who I am

So often over the years I have met different people that claim they would love to have lived in the Pioneer era....they have their 100 year old farm homes, and their homes all decorated with antiques and some even have a rich history of farming in their family...they have large acreage and some how they think this entitles them to call themselves 'old fashioned' or 'simple people'...the funny part is, is that these are also the same people that drive huge gas guzling SUV's, have manicures weekly, wear flashy name brand clothing and carry and the latest and greatest iPhone trading their old one in every time a new one is available....

I have to chuckle at these people as they are scheduling their next pedicure or manicure, rattling on about their pioneer spirit...LOL...alrighty then...These people are seriously only 'playing' at farming or 'pioneering'...mention being off the grid to one to of them and they look at you as if you are a 6 eyed, 3 nosed, horned alien...they own 3 hens, 2 goats and live in a million dollar home with a 6 figure income and claim its not much money....they make sure the hen house looks "pretty" and the goats are well hidden in the back 40 so the neighbors don't see them and think they are 'white trash or beneath them'....they feel this world will go on like it has for the past 40 years and they have no idea about preparedness...to them it means having a several thousand dollars invested in the stock market or in a savings account...mention the word survival and they immediately turn and run...

.My point in this?.

Having a pioneer spirit is truly who you are...not what you do, what kinda home you live in or what you have....you do things not because they are being done by others and sounds cool, but because it is deep within your soul to do these things....you prepare not because its a new movement or fad, but because it makes sense...the things going on in our world tells us to be prepared....you feel a deep connection with the earth and critters...you long to live off grid and experience life on a more simple and sustainable level...you couldn't care less about the latest gaming system or latest gadget to make life easier...when you hear someone 'working on their apple product', your mind goes to 'butter and pie'...lol...you spend your days figuring out ways to organize so things are simpler and more efficient...You get excited over seeing a new hen laying her first egg or watching the marvel of a chick hatching from its egg...you have no clue about name brand purses and shoes, you’ve never had a manicure or pedicure ...you live to feel the sun on your face, the dirt on your hands...you look forward to spring and digging the dirt and planting your food rather than getting up and running to the local supermarket and mall...you don’t follow the crowd, or keep up with Joneses….you are true to who you are! Money isn’t the reason you live, it’s not the focal point of your life. Your goals are simple…to be as self sufficient as you can be. 

You have skills many have lost in our modern day. Sewing, cooking from scratch, baking, you know a bit about herbal medicine, animal husbandry, you know how to make do or do without! You know how to grow and raise food, you know how to preserve it. You know how to live without power for an extended period of time. You have the tools necessary to do so.

One of your greatest joys in life is hearing a rooster crow to wake you up rather than waking to the beep of an electronic device...you love hard, laugh alot and live simple...your friends are like you...you have no use for the silliness that others occupy their lives with.....our down time is not spent at the local mall or pining over magazines like better homes and gardens or getting our nails and hair done...or planning our next vacation! Our life is one we don’t need to get away from! 

We spend our time sitting on the swing watching the clouds float by...we dream of our futures, but not of the new boats or bigger house we will own...nope...we dream of how many pigs we can fit in a 30 by 30 pen and how much money it save on meat, or how we can expand that greenhouse next year, or how many more raised beds we need for those 100 tomato plants...

Our lives are different....we are not like those that call theirselves pioneers of today that believe cause you live in a farm house with some land and decorate with antiques and have ancestors that wore pioneer clothing that you somehow were handed down a 'pioneer spirit'....Sorry to say it don't work that way...No one in my family is like me...lol...I am quite unique in the way I live, think and conduct my life...I am looking forward with anticipation of being as self-sufficient as we can be...we go 'chicken' shopping and sometimes "calf shopping"...I haven't been in the mall in 30 years!...I am still living...we are not in debt up past our eyeballs to finance our life...we totally understand the value of a dollar...we save for the big things and pay cash...the way it used to be done...we use the barter system a lot...We believe that society will be at some point forced back to the way it was in the days of old...before the industrial era, before everyone competed with everyone else...a simpler time...not easier...but simpler...I lay my head down at night grateful for my simple, quiet day…this is who I am.

Short update!

I’ve been quiet as of late. It’s not that I don’t have anything to say, I’m just not sure how to put my thoughts in order. So for now I’ll update the farm.

We had more snow and horribly cold temperatures. All the critters seemed to have faired well. By this weekend we will moderate some. 

I’m so ready for spring. It’s been a long winter in more ways than one. I’m looking forward to getting outside in the garden and sunshine. I know it will greatly improve my countenance!

So many spring time plans this year, not sure all will be accomplished but we will give it our best shot! A few plans on the agenda-they are subject to change.

Add onto the greenhouse

Expand the garden 

Build a large goat barn with milking area.

Enclosed the chicken yard

Build water catchment system

Pay off some small debts.

Our goat herd has grown by 9 kids this winter. 5 girls will be staying here. We will be selling off all our bucks but 1 this year. I will find another herd sire. 

We have added to the chicken flock as well. Soon I’ll pull out the incubator and hatch some chicks. 

I’ll be starting seeds soon.

Lots of things going on here just haven’t taken the time to update. Hope all is well on your homestead. 

Until next time…

We can make a difference!

The air was cold as I stepped outside this morning. It was quiet minus the dogs barking. I stopped a moment, took a deep breath. The cool air felt good in my lungs. It was refreshing. I looked around. The sun was shining, the spring grass is starting to come in, some trees have tiny buds on them. I know spring is near. I walked to hen house to let the hens out and to gather the eggs, I thought about how grateful I am to be in this place. Many would love to have what we have. We aren’t rich by a long shot, our struggles are real like others. We work really hard to have what we do. We’ve taken this piece of land that was once dirt rock and trees and turned it into a nice little homestead. It’s not pristine, or perfect. Seems something always needs done. It’s not worthy of Mary Jane’s farm magazine but it’s ours! And we have worked so hard to make it what it is. I am grateful.

As I gathered the eggs I felt a sense of peace. Quickly my mind turned to all the turmoil of the past years, weeks, months and recent days. I still held that sense of peace. 

I haven’t always had peace, life hasn’t been easy. But I have survived. I am outspoken and don’t hesitate to tell you what I think! That’s offensive to some while others appreciate knowing where I stand on any given subject. My peace comes from finally feeling like I have a voice, and like I matter. My peace comes from knowing I have survived thus far and I’m strong! My peace comes from knowing there are others out there like me!

Winter is winding down, coming to its end, I have survived. Spring will soon be here and all the newness of life will emerge, warmth will once again return. My mornings will be spent drinking my coffee on my swing, watching my chickens peck the ground and hearing my goats bleat in the distance. 

My countenance has started to lift and the seasonal depression I go through every fall/winter is starting to fade. I feel more energetic and joyful. It’s hard to find joy right now isn’t it?

All the turmoil we are facing. While some are enjoying it, many of us are struggling with it all. But just know we will be ok! Find your joy and peace wherever you can. Grab those fleeting moments and hug them tight! Embrace the small things and those things most take for granted. Smile often, laugh more! 

Hold that cup of coffee/tea, take in the aroma and thank the universe you are here for such a time as this. We are here, in this time, going through these things because we are suppost to be! We each have a role to play. Know yours. Find peace in that. Never be silenced!

Never quit being you! You are important and your voice matters. The quickest way for evil to take over is to stay silent! Evil is surrounding us, it’s not even trying to hide anymore. It is suppressing minorities, anyone they think is not worthy. Money is at the root of it all. Don’t give up! Stay the course. You matter! 

We are here to be a light in darkness. The beacon that lights the way for those ships lost in the dark. Never quit speaking out against evil. Our little homestead is a safe haven. I’ve always believed that. I always will. We will be a bright spot in the darkest of days that are coming. We will not let evil win in our lives or our hearts. We will speak truth loudly and boldly. We won’t be quiet. Light comes from truth! 

Our homestead will serve a purpose in the years ahead. It brings me peace knowing that. It gives me incentive to keep going and forging ahead. The load is lighter when you know your purpose. 

I want to help people, all people! Not just certain group of people. Not just people with skin like me. Not just people in relationships like me! We all bleed red. Sigh…my heart is burdened by what I see, hear and read. 

I want to make a difference! Be better! It’s ok to angry! We should all be angry at what we are seeing. Speak up let your voice be heard!

This week, work to find your peace, find joy in the small things. Find peace one moment at time! Be grateful every minute of the day. Even in the midst of all this ugliness, there is beauty to be found! Do something good everyday! Put a grocery cart in a cart stall for an elderly person, let someone go before you in the checkout line, pay for the order behind you at Starbucks, compliment someone, if you see someone struggling to walk, help them! We can make a difference one kind act at a time! The universe sees!

Choose wisely!

 

I sit here this morning thinking about all we have gone through the past few years, and how tired many of us are. I ask myself where we are headed, will we all be ok. My answer, some of us will.

I just saw where a 16 year girl died from flu complications. Sigh..:we are facing so many illnesses on top of everything else. Life feels so overwhelming right now. 

Sadly this is just getting started in my opinion. I think what we will experience in the next few years will change us all. Maybe for the better. Maybe all this turmoil is to teach us patience, kindness, empathy, and love for our fellow man/woman. Maybe we need to experience this hatred that is running rampant in order to understand acceptance. Maybe we need to go through this time of chaos to understand we ALL bleed red!

I want to make clear, I am not condoning crime or criminals. I am not condoning that at all. What I am saying is we are all human and all have feelings. 

There are some on the right that are some of the most hateful, intolerant, nasty people I have ever met. And some on the left are overly accepting! I see both ways.

We have to find the middle ground. Extremism is tearing us apart and will make all of this more difficult. 

We are transitioning I believe, transitioning to a better time, a better earth. A place of acceptance, love, kindness and empathy. It’s going to be challenging to get there. Our roadblocks will be many. Stay the path. Keep your mind and heart focused. 

We are all made of vibrational energy. Keep your vibration high. Eat well, sleep well, meditate, focus on the good and be grateful. High vibration keeps us well. High vibrational people will make it through this. We will be a light in the darkness. Stay away from dark people that are supporting the darkness. They will dim your light and deplete your energy. Find your balance in staying informed and staying upbeat.

These past few months have been so very trying. I have found myself depressed and just not at my best. These past few days I’ve made some changes. I’m monitoring how much news I consume. I am watching what I eat. I am going to bed earlier and rising earlier. I am finding things to be grateful for. I am being mindful of my choices. I’m careful who I talk to, what we discuss, and how I feel after the conversation. If I feel drained it’s a no go! I just cannot do it anymore. 

I admit I am scared. I am very concerned for all our futures until this all gets worked out. There are things we can do to protest if that’s your thing. 

I have personally had to cease contact with people that supported much of what’s happening. They are not my people. The energy they bring to my life is not the energy I try to maintain. If you hate on anyone, anyone different than you, you are gone! It’s personal with me. The reasons don’t matter, but suffice to say my reasons are dear to me. So if you are a supporter of suppressing, gays, trans, women, or people of different origin, you are gone. If you think everyone should believe in your god, you’re gone! Doesn’t mean I don’t love or care deeply for you, it just means we are on totally different paths and yours is one I cannot travel.

We will get through this! Love, kindness and acceptance will prevail. Hate will not! Remember that! Hate will destroy you, everything and everyone around you! We are coming into a very trying time…you will have a choice! Love and acceptance or hate and division. Your choice will determine your future. Choose wisely my friends, choose wisely!

Medicinal Herbs

There’s  something about February that just makes me happy! My winter depression starts lifting and I feel like we are in the home stretch to springtime! Yes, I know we can still have winter weather here, but I know spring is just around the corner! 

I ordered some seeds a month or so ago to replace some of my older ones. Today I placed another order for some additional medicinal herbs. I’m no expert in herbal medicine but I am taking classes to learn. I think with the turbulent times we are in we need to be able to care for ourselves as much as possible. Learning herbal medicine is one such way we can do that.

I am also not saying herbal medicine is a cure all, modern pharmaceuticals have their place and you should also prepare in that way as well. We just need to be well rounded in what do. Garner as much knowledge as you can. Knowledge cannot be taken from you… it’s priceless. Never quit learning.

If you don’t have a medicinal herb garden I challenge you this year to start one. It doesn’t haven’t to be elaborate, start small with some basics and build it up over time. Pick 4 or 5 herbs to study and grow those. Knowledge is power! Learn how to make tinctures and salves with the herbs you grow. Learn how to use them, for what and when. Learn dosages. Keep a journal with what you learn so you can quickly access the information when needed.

With all that is happening and happening rapidly we need to work quickly.. Get those seeds ordered today! Below are my 3 go to’s for my seeds.

Baker Creek- www.rareseeds.com

Marys Heirlooms- https://www.marysheirloomseeds.com/

Annies Heirloom seeds-https://www.anniesheirloomseeds.com/

Who am I

 

As we go through life our wants, needs, and values change. We can even change who we are, to a degree. It’s not really changing it’s more coming into ourself and who we are at our core. Many things can influence who we are or think we are throughout our life. 

For instance, I was raised Christian and identified as such until I was 46 when a series of events occurred that caused me to pause and revaluate what I believed about life in general. I had been “programmed” my entire life to believe in a set of values that I now, at 46 had to deconstruct. It’s been a very hard journey. That’s why I started this blog in 2016. It was the start of self discovery.

I was raised in a very strict religion. I was raised in a subset of evangelicalism. Pentecostalism. Rules were a big thing, following what you were told was a big thing. Doing and saying all the things was taught from a very early age. 

We were told each week we were sinful and not worthy of life, and how we would burn in hell if we stepped outta line. There were lots of undertones about things as well, unspoken but known rules.

We of course were taught homosexuals were hell bound and a stench in gods nostrils, men shouldn’t have long hair, women shouldn’t have short hair, women should really wear dresses at all times, makeup was for harlots, wearing the color red was for whores, tv and card games were the devils tools. Questioning authority was being contentious. Women were subservient unless the male pastor thought you were “called” and then you could preach from the pulpit. Having babies and keeping house was your highest calling as a woman and anything outside of that made you “liberal”. Premarital sex was worthy of hell. Divorce was not an option not even in spousal abuse situations. I was raised in severe domestic violence. My mom refused to leave because divorce was “wrong”. So she stayed raising 3 kids in a war zone. 

My whole life was about men exerting control over women. As a young adult the pattern continued. Men treated me however they saw fit and I just took it. I was lied to, used, cheated on, hit, called names, not financially or emotionally supported…so the pattern continued. I went to jail at one point for a hot check because my daughter needed food and my husband at the time wouldn’t buy her baby formula or diapers because she didn’t belong to him. He refused to give me money or let me work. 

I was always what I considered a conservative as far as politics. Just grew up around that so that’s what I was. Or so I thought!

When I walked away from church my ideas, values, and beliefs changed. I began to question everything! I dug into the Bible to see what it reallly said about all these things. Homosexuality, women, men, immigrants, life in general.

I soon realized what I had been taught was not right!

First I realized King James that authorized the KJV 1611 Bible was one of, if not the very first person responsible for the Salem witch trials as well as many other witch trials. I have ancestors that were hanged in the witch trials. And here I was reading the book that this man who was responsible for 100’s of murders of innocent men and women, I was living my life based on how this book said I should. That was my biggest reason for beginning the rest of my studies. King James would most likely today be diagnosed as a delusional paranoid schizophrenic.

So just this alone was enough to make me question all else I had been taught.

Homosexuality was not even in the Bible until 1946. And yes you will find information both supporting this and dissing this. This was another huge one for me. Jesus himself said nothing about homosexuality. There have been homosexuals since the beginning of mankind. Why it bothers straight people so much is totally beyond me. 

I know many homosexual people and they are some of the most kind, loving, accepting people you will ever meet. If you fear them check your own sexuality. I think many people that are so against homosexuals is because they have questioned their own sexuality and they can’t admit that. They are fearful.

The next thing was, we were always taught to “love your neighbor”. As a young child of course I thought meant love the people next door! LOL! I realized when I was older that meant every human on the planet! Red, yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world…remember this Sunday school song?

Seems many were taught it, but as adults we seem to forget it! The racism in this country is real! And it’s typically from your so-called Christian’s. 

Que in 2016 Donald the con man Trump! He is the sole reason I no longer consider myself conservative! His stance on everything is just crazy. He is a horrible human being full of hate! He’s a convicted felon(34 times), child molester, rapist, grifter, con man, serial cheater, he said he’d  fuck his own daughter and calls himself a Christian! 

Sadly Christian’s support this! They flock to him like stink on shit! This is also when I decided Christianity had taken a very bad turn and I could not, would not and should not be part of it in any form or fashion.

See, I have huge heart! I care for the immigrant fleeing a bad situation, I love my homosexual friends and family, I understand sex and gender are not the same. Just because you are of the male sex doesn’t mean you of the male gender. And why should you care? Conservatives are so obsessed with what’s in someone’s pants. It’s creepy as hell.

Conservatives worry about a trans in their restroom! You do realize you have probably shared the restroom with a trans many times and had no idea! They ain’t out to see your junk! They really ain’t!

I believe women are just as smart and in many cases smarter than a man. I believe in the Sunday school song, all colors of people are precious. We all bleed red.

So who am I?

I am kind, but not nice. Know the difference. I will put you in your place in a heartbeat! I take no shit! Took shit off people for years! No more!

I support LGBTQIA- they ain’t out to convert you!🙄

I support the right of choice for women. What I do with my body is not YOUR business!

I am absolutely pro-choice. I have beliefs on when abortion is ok and when it’s not. Please don’t assume you know my position.

I do not support the death penalty. Not the same as abortion so don’t go there!

I believe in the right to practice what ever “religion” you choose and are called to. If you don’t like my beliefs, move on. Do not proselytize. I will end a relationship before it starts if you do. I do not share my beliefs unless ask. I ask the same respect.

I do not believe in bibles or prayer in our public schools. That should be reserved for home or church!

If you are a man that abuses women, animals and children. You need to be jailed! Period! 

I am an intuitive empath. Look that up if you don’t know what that is. Never lie to me…I know!🙂I can read you like book! You can’t fool me.

If you call yourself a “good” person and support a person that is an abuser, cheater, grifter, and child molester…you are NOT a good person! You are complicit in their behavior. I don’t welcome that in my life. 

If you can see wrong, and call what it is I can and will respect that. If you make excuses for bad behavior. You’re gone! I don’t play like that.

I 100% believe in Karma. What you put out comes back 3 fold to you. I also believe in helping Karma from time to time!😏

So I hope I’ve made clear who I am and what I stand for. This of course doesn’t even touch the surface on my complicated Scorpio self but you can get an idea.🙂I can be your best friend or your worst enemy…you choose!

Until next time…

It’s a glorious day

I’m writing this while sitting outside on my swing. The sun is warm, the breeze in gentle and the fresh air is comforting. I hear my baby goats bleating in the distance and for a moment it feels like spring has arrived! It’s a glorious day! But I’m reminded it’s still winter and this is a short reprieve from the coldness.

As I sit here everything feels right in the world. I am away from the craziness going on. But I know things are not ok….they are not at all ok. We have wars of all kinds going on around us. We have people scared, suffering and wondering what craziness will we face next. 

The extreme right agrees with all the hate, meanness, illegal activity..the rest of us whether moderate or left sit and wonder what’s happening to us. What will happen to us and those we love.

I struggle to the see good and benefit from anything happening right now. How far will all this go before we, as a nation say “enough”. 

Even in my small podunk town racial profiling is very real. A Native American woman was detained for over 30 minutes while officers checked the legitimacy of her Indian card(CBID). Never in my lifetime did I think I’d see this. How far will it go? Who will be profiled next? I’m scared.

How long will we allow this to happen? So many questions linger in my mind. So many are struggling right now. Unable to sleep, unable to eat, unable to grasp what is happening. 

But I believe the goal is chaos and confusion. Those two things make the masses easy to control. We must be vigilant in our research to be sure we receive the truth. 

I’ve had to cut ties with loved ones, friends and family alike that simply refuse to see what’s right in front of them. I just can’t trust them anymore. The less they know about me and my life the better. It’s terrible sad it has to be like this. 

I have never been more terrified of what’s happening in our country than I am right now. I cannot wrap my brain around how so many don’t understand it. They are complicit in all of this. I ask myself what it’s going to take for them to see it. And the reality is, many never will. All dictators have supporters. No matter how brutal they are, there are those that support them and that’s absolutely horrifying to me.

My heart is heavy, my eyes are red from tears. I’m beyond exhausted from all this. But I must keep going. WE must keep going. I have to have hope. I have to have faith that Congress will at some point say enough is enough and stop this insanity! If they don’t…..I can’t bring myself to think about it right now!

For now, I will continue to stay alert and vigilant. I will do my best to support those feeling the same way. I will continue to allow myself to feel what I feel. I will continue to document these turbulent times here on my blog. 

Until next time…

THL

Choices

All of our lives are a series of choices. From the richest of the rich to the poorest of the poor. Each and everyday our life is full of making choices.

Each choice we make either directly or indirectly affects other people. I don’t think we give that idea enough thought!  Most make their choices based on their own biases, convictions, likes, dislikes, and they convince themselves how things are based on how they want them to be.

Others of us, typically overthinkers, consider others in our choices. How will my choice affect others. We too have personal convictions, likes, dislikes but rather than convincing ourselves things are the way we want them to be we study, read, watch, listen and learn. If we don’t understand something we research. We don’t listen to one news source or only those that are our “pet podcasters” or who we identify with. We really do dig deep. We want to understand every aspect of the situation. Then and only then do we make a decision. It is an informed one. You can be assured anything we believe didn’t come just seeing a post on Facebook! We have throughly researched and are confident in our findings. 

For years we tried and tried to tell DT supporters what he was, what was going to happen, how it would hurt them…it fell on deaf ears. Now, many are like oh man! We fucked up, I don’t think he would really do it, I thought he was just running his mouth! No sympathy! None, nada, zilch! YOU have caused great pain to many people..YOUR actions, YOUR choice has caused all of this…sadly the worst is yet to come. Just wait…just wait! I hope if and when we ever get out of this mess you realize how your choices affect millions of people in negatives ways!